Red Rover Red Rover

In today’s episode, we’re answering a question from Josephina. She asks, "Everyone's kids seem so busy and involved with after-school activities. Why is this important, and how do you find the right activities for your kids without overwhelming them (or yourself)?"

Without a doubt, there is tremendous value in extracurricular activities for our kids. But, managing it all can be a very complex puzzle to put together for your family. As ages and stages change, so do the challenges and rewards of these activities. Becky shares her perspective as a home schooling mom of younger kids and Lacey focuses on what it's like with high school students in public school.  

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Transcript

0:06

Whether you're navigating the challenges of parenthood with a crying baby, a teenager, or anything in between, whether you have one child or a dozen, know this, we see you, we are you. We are modern moms and best friends with out-of-the-box kids, and we're here to cheer you on during this wild ride called motherhood. We show ourselves grace, build badass communities, and choose to embrace the chaos with love and humor. Welcome to This Flocked Up Life, because being a mom is messy, imperfect, and pretty flockin' beautiful. Hey there, I hope you're having a beautiful day. I'm Becky North, and I'm here with my favorite flamingal, Lacey Verbik. How are you this week, Lacey? Well, Becky, I am doing great this week. I'm looking forward to a big 70th birthday celebration for my dad. Shout out to you, dad. Happy birthday. Today is his actual birthday, and 70 is just a big deal in our world. So proud of him, and so looking forward to celebrating. Honestly, just feeling some hurricane feels today. A lot of natural energy and forces of nature going on, but doing my best along with everybody in the affected areas to stay positive. So how about you, Becky? Yes, it's been a pretty great and beautiful week here, and I am right there with you about the hurricane feelings. While we are not directly affected where I live, I know a lot of people who are, and I'm certain that we have a lot of listeners who are. So we just want to say that we are holding space and loving and supporting you guys, and just keeping you very close as today we are recording, and it is supposed to be hitting. So we, yeah, just want to hold that space for you. Absolutely. Beautiful. Okay, well, let's jump into our question this week. It's from Josephine, and she asks, everyone's kids seem so busy and involved with after-school activities. Why is it so important, and how do you find the right activities for your kids without overwhelming them for yourself? That's a good one. It is a good one, and you know what I love about this, Becky, is it gives, you know, you and I an opportunity to really come at this from two different angles, because we have two very different sort of lifestyle choices with regard to education, and our kids are also in different, you know, stages and ages. So, you know, does it work for you? I'd love to, I'd love to sort of, you know, have your lens of homeschool, and tell us a little bit more about, you know, how activities relate to that, and then I'll kind of share from a high school age student perspective in public school. Let's do it. Amazing, amazing. Well, first of all, Josephine, I just want to say thanks for the question, Josephine, I pronounced it wrong, I'm sorry, my apologies. I just want to say, you know, you hit on something really important towards the end of your question here, which is without overwhelming them or yourself. Yes, that is so important, and it's, but it's a fine balance, right? You don't deserve to go into overwhelm over something like this, and certainly, you know, the point of all this is growth, and change, and expansion, and all the things that, you know, students gain from these types of activities, and you know, you definitely don't want to overdo it. So, I think that's a, that's a really great, it's a really great point of awareness that you shared in your question, and you know, I think it's also really easy to see everyone else's busyness, right? But it's not necessarily easy to see outcomes and impact, right? So don't, so don't necessarily let that, I guess, don't let it be too much of a carrot for you, right? What everyone else appears to be doing, right? What's, you know, it's quality over quantity, in my opinion. Becky? I could not have agreed with that more. Yes, yes, yes, I think we're all very quick to be like, well, I did this, or I have this going on, or this, or this, or this, and we're a little less quick to be like, we didn't do anything. Like, so this is not a keeping up with the Joneses, right? Like, you have to find the right fit for you and your family, whatever that is. Yes, yes, yes. Well, why don't, why don't you tell us a little bit about how you're, how you're schooling and how activities are, you know, interwoven with what you're doing with your kids at home? Yeah, absolutely. So as Lacey shared, and we've talked about previously, we do homeschool in our, our family. And so keeping our kids involved was important to us, because they don't have the same social interaction as going to school. Now, I will say like, they get a lot of social interaction, right? But it's not the same as going to school. And so making sure that we're, we're kind of finding the right fit. And, you know, for our family, that, that has been trying a lot of different things, right? Like, like, when we moved to this area, I kind of just looked up like everywhere that had trials. And we tried a bunch of different things, and found kind of different things that worked for different kids. And even still, like, they'll come and be like, hey, we think we want to try this, right. And so trying to find ways, like, I hate to be like, but trials, I think trials are great thing. I don't know your opinion on that, Lacey. But yeah, here's a two week trial, or here's, you get two classes, or you get this, like to see if you like it, before you completely buy in, was a big deal for us. And we have found in that, like, our kids all love different things, right? Like, very different, across the board things. And so, but yeah, that's kind of basically how that worked in our house was we just, we looked around, and we tried a bunch of things till we found some things that they like. And even now, when they come to us, and they say, hey, like, my oldest just said, hey, I want to do archery, right. So we look for options where, like, is this something we can fit into our schedule right now? If not, like, when might we be able to fit it in? And, or where is an opportunity where he can get to try this before we say, we're going to change everything about the way we're working to add this in? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Right on. I couldn't agree more. I wrote down, I wrote down follow the spark, Becky, this is related to what you're saying here. But follow their spark, you know, like you said, when you're doing those trials, or you're, or you're, you know, let's say driving down the street, right. And all of a sudden, one of your kids goes, karate mom, or, oh, look at that, or, you know, or, or, oh, my gosh, what's in that big building? Or, you know, I've always wanted that swimming suit. So I could be a practice backstroke, I don't know, whatever, right. But listen to the spark to follow follow their spark, pay attention to the energy, right. And when when they, you know, they're going to let you know, you know, kids, kids are kids are great at that. As a matter of fact, I dare say kids are better at, you know, kids are better at at feeling than we are, right in a lot of ways, more in touch with their more in touch with their their truth and who they are and, and, you know, energetically, at least. So paying attention to their energy and trying all the things, right. And then, you know, inevitably, as they as they do one or two or three, let's say classes, or activities, they're going to, you're going to start to notice, right, whether this lights them up, or whether it's drudgery to get out the door, right? Do they look forward to it? Do they wait for you in the car? Are they on time? Do they forget to have a snack? Right? Follow the energy. If it's, you know, if they're excited, and they continue to be excited. Keep going. Yes, I cannot agree with that more. And I'm so glad that you said that, because I'm going to give a personal example. We are, I feel like my kids are in everything right now. So sorry, what are they in? Because I was specifically thinking about your son who loves bowling. When I was so yeah, so my oldest son is in bowling. And then he also wants to do archery. And then my middle son is currently doing football. We're looking at both boys potentially doing wrestling during the winter. And then my daughter dances. So she she does several different dances, dance classes throughout the week. And then she is also a Girl Scout. And so yeah, we it's, it's pretty hoploping for us. But when my middle son started playing football this year, he is old enough that they it's a tackle league. Like they don't offer flag football during the fall, at least. It's a tackle league. And so we had a lot of conversation with him going into it about like, you have to make sure that you're listening. And you have to make sure that you're safe. And you have to make sure all of those things. And he is like, he came out after the third practice. And he said, I don't want to just be good at this. I want to be the best. And I was like, okay. And then even last week, coming home from a practice, he was asking, he's a big Chiefs fan. And if you're not a Chiefs fan, that's okay. He's a big fan because we live in Missouri. And he didn't know any different, right. But like, they have a player named Xavier on their team. And he is his name is Xavier. And he's like, what number is he because next year, I'm going to be that number. And I was like, well, why? Why do you want to be that number? And he was like, well, his name is Xavier, and he plays for the Chiefs. And my name is Xavier, and I'm going to play for the Chiefs. Oh, and he is like, just claiming this to the point where Lacey, I kid you not, he runs three miles a day outside of football practice on his own, own fruition. He is completely given up electronics and any type of video game on a day that he has practiced or a football game, because he has seen how he shows up differently at practice when he, even if it's only like 10 or 15 minutes of screen time. And he is just like, it's fine. Like it's not a big deal. This is more important to me. So like follow the spark, right? Because they're going to tell you, especially as they start to get older, they're going to tell you and you're going to see, right. And we have like a really special opportunity where we get to pour into him now and talk to him about like, really, if he's going to be in the NFL, like he's starting to work on that now. Right. And listen, I don't care if he's in the NFL or not, like, but like he does, he does. And that's super important to him. He is claiming that future right now. And it's a beautiful thing to watch as a parent. I love how committed he is to all of this and how, you know, how he's, he's even demonstrating willingness to change, right. Willingness to modify behavior, willingness to sacrifice, you know, and, and like you're doing, you're doing exactly what we just talked about. You're watching and keep marching forward when you see them light up. Right. And, and, and inevitably we're humans, right. Sparks can dwindle, right. Something that works right now may not be, may not be something that works forever. And you know, that, that old song, that song comes to mind. Well, maybe it's not a song, maybe it's an adage, but the reason, you know, things come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. You know, I believe that this, it relates to this as well, right. It's not just about people in our life. It's about opportunities. Right. And sometimes let's say an opportunity for your kid to play baseball. You know, there may be a lesson in there for him. There may be a growth opportunity in there for him. And if he plays one season, that may be all that's needed for him. Right. That, that don't, don't necessarily feel connected to that outcome. Right. We have to, we have to kind of, you know, bend and flex with our children and with their interests and with their energy and kind of follow where that goes. And, and, you know, it's easy, I think as adults, even though as parents, I, I haven't necessarily struggled with this, but maybe Becky, I'll have you weigh in in a second, but I haven't necessarily struggled with like attaching my own, you know, requirements to these experiences. Like I haven't, I haven't been like, you're going to play baseball and you're going to play baseball for your entire, the entirety of high school, or you're going to play baseball from a time you're six years old to the time you're 18 years old. And you're going to get a scholarship. Right. I don't miss, I haven't necessarily found myself attached in that way, but I think it's fair. It's pretty easy thing to do. I see a lot of parents, see a lot of parents do it. Right. And, and so just be careful of that. Right. It's a fine line, introducing your kids to a lot of things, getting excited when they have successes, you know, feeling that, you know, that sense of pride when your kid's good at something. Right. It's a little bit, a little bit addictive, maybe, but, but that, you know, it, it doesn't, that doesn't mean we shouldn't engage with these things, but don't be attached to it being forever. Maybe it is something just for a season. Oh, I agree with that a hundred percent. And I will say like, that's where I was like, I don't care if he plays football or not, or my oldest he's been bowling for what, three, three years now, something like that. And he was like, I never in a million years thought that would be something that would stick. Right. Like, but here we are. But the one thing I will say, as far as like commitment to that, that we've gone, especially when it's a team or something like that is you're committed for the season, right? Like if you say you're in, you're in for the season, you've made a commitment, not just to yourself, but to your team. Like we, we talk about that pretty in depth with our kids before signing them up for those different types of things, because they don't have to be in it after that. Right. Like, I don't care. But when you commit to saying like, Hey, I'm going to play soccer. Hey, I'm going to play baseball, or I'm going to do bowling, or I'm going to do this. Like you've made a commitment, not just to you, but to the other people on your team and yes. Standing by your word, I think is maybe the, the bigger part of that commitment that we talked, talk about in our family is that like, you gave them your word that you were going to show up and that you were going to be a part of this. And so after this, you don't ever have to do it again and you don't have to, but right now you committed and we're in. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and, and, you know, that ties back to you, you, you said that so well. And the one thing I, the one thing I would, I want to add is it's a commitment to your family as well, because, you know, especially in your case, Becky lately, you've, you've done it so lovingly, but, you know, having all those commitments and having three children, having those commitments kind of all at the same time, you know, it, it upends the household, it upends the family, it upends routines and, and things you're used to doing, you know? And, and so it's important for kids to understand who they're impacting and, and, and how, you know, what's the ripple effect of the, of that impact, you know, when, when they're, you know, making decisions to sign up for things. And, and yeah, I mean, a hundred percent, those are incredibly important lessons to learn. You fulfill your commitments, you show up, you do, you do what you say you're going to do and you, you know, and, and considering all the, all the ripples, all the potential impacts is a tremendously important lesson. Yeah. Well, and I will say Lacey, if you don't mind, like to the ripple thing, like part of that is like, how do I react to that? I have to be honest, there are days that I'm like, this sucks. Like, like, I don't have it in me to go anymore. Like we are just go, go, go. It feels like every day of the week, we have one day of the week that we are not like, go, go. And I have chosen to reframe and look at that from a different perspective because like, and I'm going to use, we have football practice more than we have anything else. So that's going to be my example here. Right. Because he is playing football. I've gotten the great opportunity to go sit outside three nights a week, every single week since June, right. Like in connect with the earth and like, yes, I watch his practice, but I could read a book if I wanted to, or I could, you know, like listen to music or listen to a podcast or do those things. Like whatever, I could do anything during that time if I wanted to, but like, man, it forced me in some ways, but I'm, I'm love having that. It's like two and a half hours, three hours outside every single Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, right. Where I get to connect and it took me a minute to get there to, to look at it through that lens. But I would say like how we allow that impact to affect us is also a ripple. Right. So how do you avoid overwhelm? Like you, you decide, is this really important? Right. And then like, okay, if it is really important, how do I change my lens? Right. Or where do I ask for help? And that's something we talked about with our kids was like, okay, we have to shift dinner time. So we might need more help with, with dinner and with stepping in for chores when those kids aren't here and stuff like that. So yeah. Love it. So what the flap are you waiting for? Hit the follow button and become part of our growing flock because let's face it, it'll be fun and you're worth it. You know speak, can you speak to a real quick before I share a little bit about my son and his kind of public school situation, share a little bit about what you think the advantages are that maybe we haven't already touched on of extracurriculars for kids at your age and stage, like, you know, outside of, outside of maybe the, the obvious. Right. So it's funny when this question came across and we decided that we were going to do it, the first thing that I thought of was that like, I don't even know if they still play this at schools, but we played it when I was a kid, right? Like that game, Red Rover, Red Rover, send Lacey right over. Right. And then they came like barreling through. Right. And so just a couple of big ones for me is I think getting your kids involved in afterschool activities or extracurriculars or other things like that teaches them to build community at an early age. And I don't know that I've looked at it that way a whole lot until recently, but like, like built, like teaching them to find their village, right. To build their flock, to like wrap with those people, you know, I know, and boys are a lot different than girls, but like my daughter is probably found a forever friend. Right. And that's like, it's a beautiful thing to witness coming to life and, and being a part of and teaching them about being part of something that's bigger than you. That's a hard concept as an adult, right? Like look at everything going on in the world right now. It's, it's really easy to get sucked into the everything going on in the world. And it's just as easy to get sucked into the everything going on in my house. Right. And here's how this has been disrupted. And when like you step back and you're like, this is bigger than me. How is this going to ripple and encouraging those thoughts? Like that's something I did with my, my little girl scout as we started the season, she's doing her first fundraiser of the year already, which is fine. And, but, but like, and you can tell, like, I obviously have feelings, right. But like to hear her get excited about making a difference in her community and that truly being something that she's really, really passionate about and how she's like, we can make a bigger, she said, we can make a bigger impact because there are more of us than just me. Oh, I love that so much. And I got goosebumps just then. And like, this is not me being like, Oh, look at me. I'm the greatest parent. Cause let me tell you, there's a lot of moments that I'm like, this is dumb. Right. But like the idea of something bigger than yourself, I think that this is a really great way to teach that. Because like I said, as adults, we have a hard time sometimes conceptualizing that. And so getting involved with other people and encouraging other people, like if we're teaching them to be kind with those people and to how to show up with those people in a safe space, right. Like we're teaching them how to show up in the world. Yes, ma'am. I think, I think that's the, the biggest things for me, Lacey is that, you know, like, first of all, everybody has a spot and it doesn't matter like if it's quirky or weird, or if you're a nerd or if you're a jock or if you're, you know, a math leet, or if you're a choir singer, or if you break dance, or if you like do the hokey pokey, it really doesn't matter. Right. Like be uniquely you and find the things, like you said, Lacey, the sparks, the things that light your soul on fire. And if we can teach our kids to do that, we can teach our kids to find the things that light their souls on fire and impact the world through that. How different is our world going to look in 10, 20, 30 years? Oh, I love that so much. You know what it brought to mind Becky really quick before I share a little bit about my son is, you know, I've been in a coaching program for the last year or so, and it's been, it's been incredibly beneficial. And one of the things that the coach shared with and said all the time is, would you love it? Or what would you love? Right. And that sounds a little cheesy. I know, but right out of the gate, you know, practice, practice sharing that with your children. You know, when they say, mom, I want to get some roller skates or mom, you know, can you buy me a new basketball or can I be on the basketball team? Try asking them instead of, you know, sure. But why are you interested in that? Or, you know, some other question. Well, that sounds good. What would you love that? Right. And see, see what their responses, because kids are, kids are much more connected to love than, than, than we are later in life. But, you know, it's just interesting to, it's just an interesting way to frame it. Would you love that? Right. Not, not, would you like that? Not, not, well, yeah. Okay, fine. Whatever you want. Right. But what if you, what if you just put that little extra fairy dust of love on the request and on the interest and on the, you know, the shift that's, that will be created by this extracurricular activity. Right. And have your kids, you know, tune in, maybe close their eyes, go and go inside their heart space a little bit and listen, you know, and, and, and actually come forward with a decision. Yes. I would love it. Right. And then how much easier is that for, for your heart, for your family's heart, for everybody, you know, everybody else involved to, to get on board and to get behind and to be in support when, you know, when, when they mean it and they would love it. Right. As opposed to just mom, could I do this because my friend said so, or my, or, you know, because I need the Letterman jacket or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad you said that I had the, you don't have to say yes to everything. Right. Like, like really just find the things that are right and say yes to those. And like, you don't have to be busy just for the sake of not being bored because kids need to be bored. Oh, say that again, Becky. Yes. Kids need to be bored. Like that is a crucial part of development. Like they have to learn how to overcome that. And when we are like, well, just find the next thing for them to do, let them be bored. Like, like let it happen. It's fine. Kids don't know how to be bored. My son, my son doesn't do that. Well, if I'm being honest, so I'll share a little bit of Becky, you did, you did such a wonderful job kind of sharing, sharing about, you know, where you're coming from with your advice in terms of where your kids are at and your experience to this point, I'll just share a fairly briefly, but my son, my son is 15 and a half. He'll be 16 in January. And he is a sophomore at a big, big public high school here in central Indiana. And I am, I I'm just going to say this. So I am a really, really, really big fan of extracurricular activities. I'll tell you why, because, because I believe that a well-rounded student stands a better chance of being at large successful in the world than a student who, you know, is, is, is extremely heavily one way or the other. And, and by one way or the other, I mean, academic or, or, or athletic, or, you know, any number, any number of facets of education, if you go too hard one direction, I think that can, that can lead to a limited experience. And I much prefer the idea that, that, that, you know, the most successful students going forward are those that are well-rounded, that have had a variety of experiences, both academic and extracurricular. And you know, that opinion's not for everybody and that's, that's just fine. But I, you know, I saw that happen. I saw that come full circle with my daughter and it turns out it, it has been very much true for her. But I'll circle back to my son. My son right now is, I would say my son is an introvert. Doesn't, you know, doesn't necessarily make friends super fast, you know, keeps to himself. So, so these extracurriculars have really, just since high school, he's a sophomore now, but since high school for him, he's really, he's really grown. He's really blossomed in beautiful ways. He participates in, in wrestling club. So that's just about to kick up here. So, so we're gonna, we're, we're figuring out if that's a decision again for this year right now. But he also participates in what's called chamber choir, which is like a symphonic classical type of choir. And he has a, he's a, he's a baritone singer, which is really neat. And he's the only baritone in his high school. So the choir really enjoys him. And he takes private guitar lessons because that's something he just absolutely loves is learning, you know, little rock and roll riffs on his guitar. And, and he also participates in an extracurricular activity called the ACE mentor program. And ACE is the, is an acronym for architecture, construction, engineering. And it's a, it's a program where a lot of, a lot of beautiful, wonderful local businesses in, in those industries come together to actually support and cultivate and train and educate young folks who are looking to enter into those trades and specialized fields. So really neat opportunity that he has there, but, you know, I just, I absolutely insist and no one can convince me otherwise that those experiences are just as vital and beneficial as the time spent in the classroom. Yes. So, so there it is. You know, but being, being in a, being in high school though, you know, you have sort of that, you have to be looking out into the future, right? You have to be thinking a little bit more strategically about, you know, are, are these activities I'm choosing setting me up for success in the future to, to, you know, in the direction of the things I want to do with my life. So like, for example, I mean, you know, my son's a sophomore right now, they just took the PSAT today. You know, as they get, as they get closer to junior or senior year, they're making decisions about their future. There's a lot of, there's a lot of known benefits to, to extracurricular activities in terms of, you know, their path forward and, and, you know, out of high school and beyond. And I just wanted to share a couple of those and Becky, I'd love your thoughts on these, you know, improved academic performance. It's, it's been proven that kids who are engaged and busy and active get better grades, you know? And I'm sure that's probably the case in homeschool environments as well. So higher self-esteem, I've definitely seen this in my son. He has, he has become a much more confident young man doing these activities and, and he's, you know, he's made friends and, you know, realized that he, he does enjoy being social. Let's see, productive, let's see, productive breaks. I thought this, this is interesting that, that, you know, academically, you know, schools challenge, schools challenging. I mean, they, they, you know, our high school here does a, does a great job of, of really, you know, challenging and, and expanding these kids academically and getting them ready for the world, I think. And they need productive breaks. They need, they need time away from, you know, that deep thinking, that, that heavy academic lifting, right? They need those intermittent times where they can really walk away from that, really, really disconnect from thinking. But, but yet stay productive, right? Stay engaged, stay in their body, stay out there in the world rather than sitting in front of a computer screen. Yes. I thought you'd like that one. You know, you touched on this with your, with your share, Becky, about essential life skills. You know, the, the younger, the younger your kids are, the, the more important these sort of fundamental life skill experiences are, right? That teaching how to work as a team, teaching how to be respectful to adults, teaching what it's like to overcome failure, teaching how to recover from disappointment, right? All of those, those are essential life skills that are learned through programs like extracurricular activities, you know, and the sooner they can learn them, the better it is, in my opinion, you know, so as we get closer to like, you know, thinking about end of high school stuff, think about it, networking, resumes, mental health, college admissions, success, all of those things are also related to and benefited by extracurricular engagement. There's so much, there's so much here. And it's, it's easy to, I think it's easy as a parent sometimes to be like, I don't have time for that. That's overwhelming. That's too complicated. That's just not necessary. Right. And, and I, I just, I wrote, I wrote a note that I'm going to see if I can make it make sense here because I think it's resonant. And I think it's important that it's a side note, little bit. I tell my kids all the time that their job is to be a student, my job, right? My, I go to work. I have a job. That's my job. Well, you know, similarly, your job is to be a student right now. You know, if we think about our life as an adult, our hobbies and interests and things that we do outside of work is the equivalent of our student, our student, you know, our student having a job is equivalent to our having a real job, right. A job that makes money. And if we don't allow our children to have extracurriculars, it's the equivalent of us being an adult with no hobbies or interests and life's pretty boring. If that's the case, right. So think about, you know, as a parent, stepping outside of yourself and saying, Hey, you know what? I, this is hard and this is going to upend everything. And I, and I don't want to do this. This seems too complicated, but think about, think about the, the opportunity you are giving your kid to experience life more fully, you know, and they, they deserve to have hobbies and interests just like you. Right. And, and those extracurricular activities are, are that for them as they do their job of being a student. I am so glad that you said that Lacey, I have something similar written down where I was like, if the only thing getting your child involved in some type of activity does is teach them that it's okay to have fun and it's okay to do something for them, then isn't it worth it? Yes. Oh my God. I did not say it very eloquently, Becky. So fit wrap it up for us. You'll say it better than I did. I know. I think like, I just love that we are, we are so in tune. Cause I think that you're absolutely right. Right. Like we, this is an opportunity where we have to model for our children. Right. Maybe that means mama that you need to find something that brings you joy. That sparks creativity for you that lights your soul on fire. Right. I know my daughter's dance, like they're doing a mommy class this year. Right. Like, and it's so, so much fun watching. I don't get to go because it's during football practice, but watching them walk out with so much joy after that class is a beautiful thing. And so we get, we get to model that for them. And by saying yes, by saying, okay, let's try the thing. Let's, let's do this. You are worth the change. Right. I think, you know, Lacey, I know you and I were having a conversation earlier today, but like sometimes as parents, we don't always say the thing to our kid. Yeah. Right. Like we always say the thing, whatever the thing is. Right. But like our actions can speak really loudly too. So when we say, okay, like, yes, we will change the way that we eat dinner every single night. We will adapt. We will show up. We will do this. We will come to your games and we will cheer you on, even if you've not scored one point. Right. Like we will still show up for you and be grateful and joyful with you there. We're teaching them that that's okay. That it's okay to do things that fill their cup. And ultimately we're building a better relationship with them because they're going to be far more likely to confide in us and say things to us in a place where they feel seen, heard, and valued. Drop the mic, Becky. That was amazing. Boom. We'll just send it right there. No, I'm just kidding. I have loved this time with you. My goodness. We had a lot to share. Yes. Josephine, I just, you know, pour into those kids with as much love as you can muster and, you know, offer them opportunities to expand whenever possible. And when it's not possible, be kind to yourself. Okay. We're all doing the best we can and your children will blossom and become beautiful humans with your love and support, whether they're doing all the things or not. Yes. Any closing words, Becky? Yep. You don't have to do all the things. Maybe just pick one to start. I love it. Thank you so much for the question, Josephine. We enjoyed the conversation today. Until next time.