Trading Friendship Bracelets

Adult friendships can be tricky, especially when life stages and time zones create distance. In this episode, we're answering a listener's question:

"How do you stay connected with girlfriends when you're in different stages of life? I'm married without kids and have several friends that are married with kids and in different time zones. How can I nurture these friendships?"

We're talking about the importance of showing up for one another, finding creative ways to stay connected, and why the effort you put into your friendships matters now more than ever. 

We'd love to hear from you! Reach out to us.
lacey@thisflockeduplife.com
becky@thisflockeduplife.com

Join the Flock and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.
instagram.com/thisflockeduplife
facebook.com/thisflockeduplife

Transcript

0:06

Whether you're navigating the challenges of parenthood with a crying baby, a teenager, or anything in between, whether you have one child or a dozen, know this, we see you. We are you. We are modern moms and best friends with out-of-the-box kids, and we're here to cheer you on during this wild ride called motherhood. We show ourselves grace, build badass communities, and choose to embrace the chaos with love and humor. Welcome to this flocked-up life, because being a mom is messy, imperfect, and pretty flockin' beautiful. Hey there, I hope you're having a beautiful day. I'm Lacey Burbick, and I'm here with my favorite Fleming gal, Becky North. How's it going, Becky? You know, Lacey, it has been the most interesting week. We were just talking about the weather and how we had a beautiful 74-degree day, and the next day it was 40. So, gotta love the Midwest. But yeah, it has been, it's been a fun week, and I'm gonna, if it's okay, my highlight of the week is I was doom-scrolling the internet. Don't recommend, but I think that we all do it. And, excuse me, but I saw this little video clip of Coach Andy Reid from the Kansas City Chiefs leading up to Super Bowl week. So, it was like opening night of Super Bowl week, which I guess I didn't realize was a thing, but it was. And do you know what, Lacey? He was wearing a Flamingo shirt, and if you, I definitely snapped that picture, yeah, and then I sent it to you, and it has just brought me so much joy this week to know, yeah, just to have that Flamingo sighting. So, yes, I am, it was fun. It was fun for me. How was your week? That's a killer Flamingo sighting, maybe the best one ever. And thanks so much, Andy Reid, for supporting our brand over there. Best of luck in the big game. So, that's awesome. Yeah, speaking of, man, I'm looking at my computer screen right now, and it says, cold weather now. Bullshit. And I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah, thanks for the reminder. So, yeah, definitely still the case here in Indiana, though. We did have, gosh, I think we had a 40-something degree day and then a 60-something degree day this past week, so that's amazing. And yeah, my birthday week was last week, and boy, was it a wonderful, wonderful week full of all my favorite things. I know y'all can't quite see my dress here, the fullness of my dress, unless you're watching us on YouTube, and even still you can't see it all, but I got a wonderful new dress for my birthday, and thank you, Mom. I love it, and I'm super comfy and feeling pretty today. So yeah, just glad to be here with you, Becky, and ready to tackle our question this week. Boop, boop. Okay. So we have a question from Galdina G. Oh, what a pretty name, Galdina. And she asks, how do you stay connected with girlfriends when you're in different stages of life? I'm married without kids, and I have several friends that are married with kids, and even in different time zones. Ideas on how to stay connected in our friendships? Oh, yeah. Yep. We got a lot of ideas, I'll bet. Becky, do you want to start? I bet we do, yeah. And I just want to say this is a great question. I'm going to bounce back and forth on kind of, I think, the perspective that I am shifting, and so I want to start with, like, motherhood is such a beautiful thing. It is. But it's also messy and complicated, and it's much bigger than we think it's going to be. And especially, like, when I had my first kid, and then, no, it was with all three of them, because they were all so blazingly different. But it was very isolating, right? Like, but I think with my first son, you know, I had a lot of friends who didn't have kids. I had a lot of this. And I think I had, like, this mourning of that could no longer be me, right? And the going out late at night and the doing those things, like, it was like, one day, you just, that door closes. And that is something, right? Like, it really is. And so I want to say, just thank you for this beautiful question, because I don't know that I've ever looked at it from the other perspective. As much as I hate to say that, I don't know that I've ever looked at it as, like, oh, gosh, I had friends who may have been, like, feeling similar things to our relationship just from the other side. And man, that's really thoughtful. So I don't know if you have anything to add to that part, Lacey, but that was really kind of the first thought that popped up for me was just this awareness that I had not had before. Yeah, well, of course, she would. Of course, she would tune right into the highest and best learning from her question. I think that's right on point for you. And, you know, I can say that I resonate deeply with what you said as far as, you know, when I, I think when I became a mother, it was sort of like, yeah, a little, you know, grieving sort of who that woman was and embracing who this new mother and woman is. And, yeah, I did. I mean, I don't think it's, I don't think it's intentional, but perhaps natural, you know, the, you know, sort of just the way life's intended in some way that that we just get ready for that. Right. And we just kind of say, well, it's probably not going to be the same as it was. And, well, that's OK, because here I am choosing to bring this life into the world. Right. Or here I am preparing for that. And yeah, I think I've kind of maybe been on both sides of the been on both sides of this a little bit, because one specific friend of mine I can think of right now had her babies start having babies six months before I did. Had had her first child six months before I did. But we were otherwise sort of very aligned with, you know, life milestones and things that we were doing. And we were we're very close. We still are to this day. So blessed. And she like I remember I was the friend, you know, I was I was on I was on the receiving end when she had babies before me, you know, and I was and I'm sure she received a lot from me when when it was my turn. Right. Or didn't receive received a lot of different, different energy and different engagement from me when it was my turn. And you know what I think? I think it's a natural part of life. It's a natural part of life. So it's not something it's not necessarily something to push against or fight against. But I certainly I I know that it's worthwhile to pour into those relationships. Right. And even if it feels less important or a lower priority because you have these other, you know, bigger, more pressing things going on. Yes. So, yeah. Yeah. But I I you know, I wrote I as I was thinking about her question and kind of making some notes, I came up with all sorts of ways that I've done it. You know, I wrote down all sorts of things that I've done that have led me sort of back to that really important friendship connection. So I can't wait to hear what you have to say, but I'll let you start. Yeah. So for me, the first one, because I have kind of a list, too. So maybe we can ping pong and just go off of each other. But for me and also sorry for those on YouTube, I keep forgetting we're on YouTube. I'm just playing with my putty. So anyways, squirrel for me, I think. And this kind of goes back to when my kids were littler. Right. Because not as many people want to, like, stop by and see your kids when they're old and sassy. Right. Like when they're young and cute, people want to see like your kids. Right. So, you know, I don't know if this applies in this situation from this listener to the question, Goldina. But I know for me, when I had friends who had kids, I was probably guilty of, like, going over and I just want to hold the baby and I just want to do this. And after being on that side, right, and feeling like I was showing up because I don't ever feel like I was like, oh, I this relationship is hard that for me specifically, I don't know that I really felt that with my friends having kids. But as a mom having kids that were little and cute and people wanted to see, I wish that we would have had separate time. Right. And I don't necessarily mean like away from each other, but like, please don't say you're coming to see me if really you're coming to see my baby. Oh, girl. Yes. Yes. Yes. I had that experience so many times and it was so hurtful to me. Yeah. And, you know, and the other person, as you kind of alluded to, didn't mean to write, didn't mean for it to be hurtful. But yeah, I guess I was probably a little needy. Right. Maybe I mean, maybe post maybe postpartum stuff going on. Right. Whatever it is, I I feel like I you know, that that the mothers are a lot of mothers, I think, have the experience of feeling unseen when, you know, and and under supported when there's excited visitors coming to Google and Google all over the babies. And, you know, you may have had a very different experience with that. And I hope you did. But, you know, for me, it was it was definitely well, I'm a center stage kind of personality as it is in case you can't tell. So and maybe a little needy myself, high maintenance, maybe. But I felt I felt like I wanted visits for me and my baby. And I didn't get that. And that was hard at the time. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So, yeah, that was my my first thing on my list. What was yours? Yeah. Yeah. Really good point. You know, I wrote down I wrote down focus less on your different stages and more on what makes your friendship great. You know, yeah, you're in different stages. And you know what? That's all right. Yep. We're all at different stages. And guess what? We're always growing and we're always changing. So truth be told, we're always going to be at different stages, always. All right. You're going to I mean, here I am, you know, Becky and I, for example, Becky's over here with, you know, young kids doing all the things, spinning all the plates, you know, school age kids. And here I am with older teenagers and perimenopause. OK, like we're all in different stages. And that's the nature of life, I think. And so instead of feeling like you don't have permission to access them because they're in some various other stage of life, what if you just said, heck with that, I'm going to I'm going to pour into a friendship that's important to me to make it great. And I'm going to not worry about that crap, you know, and think about like think about things like why you became friends in the first place. You know, what attracted you to this person or what, you know, what attracted them to you or how did you over what common interest did y'all meet, you know, that kind of stuff and and brainstorming around ways to connect, you know, based on that, not based on, oh, I'm not a mother or oh, I, you know, haven't had kids or oh, I am not married or oh, I'm young and married and they're old and married or, you know, on and on. Yes, I love that. I that really ties in a lot to kind of one of the points that I had. And that was like, and listen, I am a firm believer of this, whether or not you have kids or not, right? Like, if you care about somebody in there on your heart, just check in with them, even if they don't respond, right? Like, and I do that a lot, like, hey, I know you're probably busy, like, right? Like, hey, I just want to remind you, you're amazing, right? Like, literally, whatever's on my heart in that moment, because sometimes that may be all I have to give in that moment. And a lot of times when that happens, that person needs to hear it. And if you're in a friendship with anybody, I think, like, we should be willing to pour, right? We should be willing to pour because sometimes we pour more and other times we take more, right? Now, I will say with that, like, if you are in any type of relationship where the only thing you ever do is pour and you don't receive, maybe you need to look at that a little. But I don't think it's always 50-50, right? And so, you know, you may be going through things in your personal life where they're going to pour into you and they're going to show up for you. And they could be going through things where you pour into them a little bit more. And I think that, like, gosh, if we just let go of the, well, I haven't heard from them, or they're busy, or there's this going on, or there's that going on, and you just send a voice note, or you just send a text message, or, hey, I heard this song on the radio and it made me think of you, or any of that, because I know when that happens for me, I'm like, oh, man, the joy that that brings me in that moment. And a lot of times, listen, I'm so happy that I set down my phone and I don't even reply, right? Because it's like, oh, I want to be in this right now. So, like, yeah, that's probably my next thing is, like, just don't be afraid to pour into any relationship. If they're on your heart and they're on your mind and you don't get a response, does it matter? Like, why keep that to yourself if they're there? Just go ahead and share it, right? Because you're going to feel good about sharing it. And I promise it's going to impact them well. And if they don't say anything, then it's no different than you just not saying anything at all. No, I couldn't agree more. And, you know, Becky, I don't think you gave quite enough attention to the last point you made, which was receiving. That you, when someone does this to you, right, that there is a practice, there's an art of receiving, right? And it doesn't always have to be acknowledged right away. It doesn't always have to be a five-line text message response to let them know how thorough you are, right? Sometimes it can just be, oh, that filled my cup and I needed that and off we go. You know what I mean? Yes, you want to be polite, gracious, yada, yada. You know, you want to show up for that other person, but you also, your willingness to pour into them should be balanced out by your willingness to receive and accept the love, right? That the other person is pouring into you. And I think you, Becky North, are like the best person. You are the best example of this that I can think of. Oh, thank you. You know, I love that about you and I'm proud of you for doing it and it makes a difference and you know that, that I'm saying it right here, right now, so you can hear it again. So what the flap are you waiting for? Hit the follow button and become part of our growing flock because let's face it, it'll be fun and you're worth it. Related to this, I have struggled with feeling like a bother. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to waste their time. They don't have time for me. I don't have anything important to say. That's a big one for me. I tend to get wound up around, oh, you know, I'm just, they don't need, you know, they don't need to hear from me. I just talked to them three weeks ago. You know, I know she's got a lot going on, right? I would just, I had all the head trash, right? All the things going on in my head about why, about why reaching out didn't make sense. And I allowed myself to be estranged from a lot of my friends for a long, long time because I thought I was doing them a favor by leaving them alone. And what I thought I, what I thought I was, what I thought I was doing is allowing them to have space. What I thought I was doing was not being one more thing tugging on their consciousness, right? That was my intent. But the, the outcome was loneliness and separation. Yep. I think that is such a valid point. Lacey is like, I think as, no, sorry. I think as, sorry, I was just downloading. So as women, I'm just going to say as women, there sometimes tends to be a lot of shame, right? And maybe my house isn't the way that I want it to look. And maybe things aren't going just right. Maybe my kids are always loud and maybe there's this and maybe there's that. And maybe I don't have anything important to say. And maybe I did just talk to them or maybe I'm being needy. And we put this, like, we feel, I want to be conscious of my language. Sorry guys. But we, there have been situations in which the shame pot is just filled, right? So like twofold with that is a, if they are truly your friends and they truly love and care about you, they're not going to care if your house is perfect. They're not going to care if your kids are loud. I mean, they might, but they're going to tolerate it, right? Like they're not going to care if you just talk to them. They're not, they're not going to do that. And like we talked about in our last episode, the, about what we can control, like, it's not fair for us to assume how they're going to react, right? It's just, it's not, it's not fair for us to assume how they're going to react. And on the flip side, being a good friend means that like, we should also, and I have been totally guilty of this in the past of like, I could see that somebody was struggling maybe, or doing this and instead of stepping in and being like, hey, like pattern interrupt, right? Like that I just kind of stood back for the same reasons, right? That same like, oh, it's not my battle. If they wanted my help, they'd ask me for it. If they, and I'm not saying like, jump in and save, be the hero, right? But it is okay to be like, woohoo, I'm here. I just want to remind you, right? No matter what, I'm here, right? Or for like a real life situation for me, I had a friend whose significant other was sick this week and our daughters danced together and her son had basketball at the same time and she's like, I'm just wondering if you can help. And she continued to be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't want to be a bother. I don't want to be a bother. And if you're listening, I love you and you're not a bother, right? And like, and like, I had to say that. I was like, if I couldn't do it, I would say no. Like, if it was a problem, I would tell you, right? So like, if we just don't dance around, don't say yes when we shouldn't and like, we honestly support, but I like stopped that. I don't want to say shame or guilt or whatever, because I don't want to apply feelings to that person, right? It's a pattern, Becky. Right. But if we stop that pattern and say, hey, whoa, remember, if I couldn't do this, I wouldn't, right? Like, I would say something if it didn't work or we would find another way or something like that, we can, we can reaffirm that. So like, like, let's like, this is feels like way left corner, but like, there's so much going on in the world right now. So much happening everywhere. And I think that everybody like kind of feels this like, right. And what if we just let go of the guilt of wanting to ask for help or wanting to connect to people and just did it like, what if 2025 was just the year that we let go of guilt and shame and, and let them think whatever they want. Yeah. Reference back to last week's episode, right? If you think I'm needy, that's fine. I'll let you, right. You think, you think I'm calling you too often? Well, let, okay. You know, and, and, but I had so much awareness, anxiety, stress around not applying my needs to other people's lives that I extracted myself from their life. And that's not good for anybody. It's not good. It's really not. It's especially not good for the person who's been extracted. Yeah. Uh, so, and fortunately I have amazing, I have three amazing Keystone friends that I couldn't live without that have never let me not show up in their life. And they've, they've never, they've, they've always continued the conversation, even if they didn't think I was ready or even if they didn't think I wanted to, they, they showed up for me and I didn't, I didn't, God, I did. I didn't realize how important, how much my separation by choice contributed to less, less good mental health. I can't think of a better way to say that. Right. It contributed to mental health, I roll struggles right over years and years and years and years. And it was by my own making. And now I've, now I've done a lot of healing work and I recognize that had I had those friendships, had I allowed those channels to stay open, had I been ready to receive that love, I would be, well, 10,000 miles ahead probably. Right. Of, of where I am right now, but where I am right now is perfect in its own, in its own right. But I, yeah, I can imagine, I can imagine a different, a different life experience. Yeah. Had I not done that, made those choices and, and yeah. And looking back on it, it was, it was, it was a form of like, it was a form of protection, right? It was, it was like, let me, let me build a box around myself and no one can hurt me. No one can touch me. No. You know, if I don't invite them, then they're never going to hurt my feelings. Yep. Right. Yeah. Except no to all of that. No to all of that. Yes. I will like, listen, I just want to say, no matter who you are, where you are, what you've done, like in those moments, right, we're all doing the very best that we can in that moment. Right. And awareness always comes after. Right. Like it always does. That perception comes after and sometimes it's right after and sometimes it's years and years later. Right. And that's just part of growth and evolution and, and all of that. And like, just goodness, if we just lead with love, right, like I have it like written big across my page, like lead with love, right? Like if we just lean in, who cares if you have kids or you don't have kids who, who cares if you're married or you, or you're not married. Right. Like those people who love so deeply that they're not just your friends, they are your family. Right. Like I am very blessed to have a handful of those in my life. And you know, like I have, I've mentioned my daughter dances and she's taking this tumbling class. I promise this is related. It seems like I'm squirreling a lot today, but I promise it's related. She's taking this tumbling class and she's been working hard on her backbends and she has been terrified of them. And a couple of weeks ago we're driving in and I'm like, honey, the floor is padded and like we've practiced and she can do it. I want to be really clear. She can do it. I've seen her do it. I've witnessed it. Like she can do it, but it's not like perfect yet. And I, so I was like, tell me honey, what like, what's the very worst thing that could happen? And this girl, she's like, well, mom. And she says it this fast. So I'm going to like pull the mic in. I'll go ahead and pull the camera in too. So that way you can right close up. She goes, mom, mom, I could fall. I could hurt my head really bad. I could have to the hospital. I could need surgery and I could die. Okay. I was like, honey, you went all the way there. Like, and we talked about like the likeliness of that not being, not happening. Well, on Monday night, she has a couple of friends that we have made over and I have some mom friends there and two really, really good mom friends, but one of them happens to be a nurse. So nurse Lauren, if you're listening, we love you. Shout out, but she, nurse Lauren is not there every Monday because she's a nurse and sometimes she works, but Kinsey shows up differently on tumbling classes when nurse Lauren is there because she knows the nurse Lauren would save her life. Interesting. Like, like she's like, she would help me if I was hurt. Like I would help her if she was hurt, but nurse Lauren, like she's, she would help me mom. And she shows up differently. Right. Because Lauren has shown up not only in my life, but in my children's life with love. Right. And they know that she's a safe place. Right. So what if we could have the courage of that same 10 year old little girl and with the people that we love and we care about with our relationships, whether they're like intimate relationships or friendships or even our relationships with our children, what if we could just show up like that, knowing this person fiercely loves me. Yeah. They fiercely loved me. And so it's okay if I fall and I break my neck. Right. But I don't want anybody to fall and break their neck. But like metaphorically, it's okay if I trip on my face. It's okay if I fall off the treadmill. It's okay if I'm in pajamas and I haven't washed my hair in seven days. It's okay if really what I need you to do is hold the damn kid so I can go shower. Right. Like what I need you to do is sit down and drink a bottle of with me. What I need you to do is help me escape for a little while. Right. What I need you to do is sit in bed with me when I cry and eat ice cream and watch junk TV. What I need you to do maybe is just be present and not say anything at all. No matter what that is, this person fiercely loves me. So I'm safe to do that. Love that. Beautiful. Yeah. I feel that way about you. Oh, well, thank you. I really do. Yeah. And, you know, I I wrote down as you were talking and and I want to shift into this other I want to shift into one other point here, but I want to say this out loud, maybe even a couple of times in your friendships specifically, but all relationships allow yourself to feel great. Mm hmm. Allow yourself to feel great. Mm hmm. You deserve that. This is not something you earn. Mm hmm. This is something you are. Given. And worthy of and you deserve to feel great. Yes, you have to choose to allow it to receive it. Right. It it's it's no good to you if you can't receive it and and you can turn that, you know, turn this around and send it out to, you know, to the other party in your friendship or relationship that I say things to you. I do things for you. I meet with you. I send you gifts because I want you to feel great. Mm hmm. Right. What if that's the what that's the benchmark for all friendships? Right. That we that we both want to feel great and that we can support each other and feeling great. Mm hmm. If we allow. Yes. And can I say it's also not a fucking competition? Oh, girl, your wins are my wins. They are not my losses. Yes. Right. Your victories are not my losses. They are my victories. My wins are not your losses. They are your wins. It's funny, I actually there's a post coming up before this drops. So anybody who's listening, let's see if you're paying attention. But now I'm like, oh, gosh, I should have moved that. Like, I didn't even know we're going to talk about this right now, but I should have saved that for this week. But like, I will celebrate with you. I will love with you. Right. Like, allow yourself to do that. Allow yourself to be in happiness and even if there's sadness with them. Right. Because those are the things that like form those deep, deep roots of connection. That is what's real. Right. So you got the promotion and I didn't. You know what? More work for you. But I'm celebrating you, man. Like, right. Like, it doesn't have to be a competition. It's not keeping up with the Joneses. It's not. No, it doesn't have to be. Mm hmm. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right, Becky. Yeah. And like good examples this past week, never. My daughter had a she she had done a video piece for a state government agency back when she was finishing high school and had won a nice award. They asked her if she would be a spokeswoman in a video. And it was a really exciting opportunity at the time. And she was pretty nervous about it. Pretty excited. But we got her all set up for it. And she went and she she did a shoot and it was and she came home like, oh, I think it was good, mom, you know, that was something she did on her own. I was at work and and it just now like came out of production. So it's been what, a year and a half or something. I guess they're just now ready to roll it out. And I sent the video. My daughter sent me the video and I was, of course, overflowing with pride and excitement. And I sent the video to Becky and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would celebrate my daughter's win and my pride. As a parent in that moment of that outcome and that that video that she contributed to and those are the that's how you show up, that's how you that's how you build those trusting, loving, deeply rooted friendships by by taking even the little moments and saying, wow, you're your kid's amazing. I love her so. And, you know, what a cool opportunity, you know, blah, blah, blah. Right. Like, I feel so celebrated by Becky and my kids are so celebrated by Becky every time anything good happens. Right. And I have I have turned that around on other friends and other relationships in my life because I love receiving it so much. It makes such a difference for me energetically in life to to know that someone cares about my life experience in such a deep way. So, you know, I mean, try that out. Right. Try it out. Try it out with your friends when when they you know, when they send you a text and say, hey, you know, this really cool thing happened, you know, make a big deal, make a big deal about it. Right. I mean, don't be disingenuous. Right. But make a big deal about it. Tell them. Tell them how you know, what a what a proud parent moment. Right. For you. And I see I see how you've developed this young person and wow, look at their success. And you are you are a chief contributor. Right. Like, that's the kind of stuff that we don't say to each other enough. Of course, I'm the chief contributor. I'm her mother. But no one says, you know, I mean, she did it. Right. But I'm chief contributor. But no, we don't say that to each other enough. We don't say, man, I see what you did behind the scenes. Right. I see the I see you being the Girl Scout cookie mom that's going to make your troop the best damn Girl Scout troop there ever was. Right. Like I we don't we don't go all in. I don't. People don't go all in with their with their love, with their with their friendship, with their connections. You know, I don't think we do. And I think we should. Yes, I love that. And, you know, Lacey, I would like to say like, this shows up in different ways, right? Like you can choose how that is. I have a very, very dear friend. I call her my forever friend. We've been friends for more of our life than we've not been friends at this point. We have been with each other through some of our very, very best days and absolutely our darkest ones. And even though we live four hours apart now, I know that I could call her any time. And there are things that we make sure that we do to stay connected. Right. Like we make sure that even though we're in different, different times, we both have very busy, busy seasons of life, like we connect on video. And it's just and sometimes I got to be honest, we're not even saying anything. We are just present with each other because that's what we need in the moment. Right. But like, for instance, every Christmas Eve, you know, because Santa knows that this mom wants to wrap the presents a very certain way. So he brings them unwrapped to our house and I wrap them. And so every Christmas Eve, we have like a wrapping party. No joke. We are both drinking wine. We're sitting there. We're talking. We're wrapping things. We're probably cussing a little bit. We're laughing a lot. Like it's it's just something that we do. You know, like when we put in the effort, I love to hand write people letters, like just a quick little, hey, I was thinking about you and I wanted you to know, because I don't know, there's something about getting a letter in the mail for me. I'm like, it's like a kid at Christmas. Right. Like, because I'm like, man, they took the time to not just send me a text message, but to actually write this down and put it in an envelope and address it to me and put a stamp on it and take it to their mailbox. Right. Like that feels like, hey, I'm putting forth some foot of effort. I have tried really hard for when I see people that are like maybe disconnecting and I feel like, oh, they're they're pulling away. And I've seen that in myself. So I know what that's like. I will, in a lot of cases, like sit down and write them a letter then. Right. Because it feels more and it feels like, hey, you're not forced to reply to this, but I just wanted you to know you're on my heart. Mm hmm. Right. Like, so like showing up and celebrating your friends doesn't have to be a text message. It doesn't have to be a phone call. It doesn't have to be knocking on their door. You know, it might be getting on getting on a face call. Right. It might be writing a letter. It might be, hey, I just ordered your family dinner. It might be, hey, there's groceries on your front porch. It might be, hey, I'm showing up because I know that you're really tired. I'm going to clean your bathroom. Right. Or it might be like, hey, I brought your favorite ice cream. Let's stay in our jammies and watch Friends. Mm hmm. We can. That sounds good. Can we do that? Right. Yeah. We get to choose. We get to choose how we pour into relationships. And I think that, like, generally speaking, the world is kind of put the stigma on what what that means. And here's the deal is that we get to define that. Right. Like, yeah, we get to define that. Absolutely. And I think it's very personal. Right. It's personal between the parties. Right. The people in the friendship. Right. You get to decide what's OK, what's normal, what's important, what's fun. Right. And, you know, Galdina, one in your question, you said ideas on how to stay connected in our friendships. And you mentioned different time zones. And Becky, I had a couple of things here and I just wanted to drop them in real quick. Snail mail. You mentioned you mentioned snail mail. Like, I love nothing more that letters certainly would be amazing. But I love like a good card. Right. Like a funny like a funny card or just anything in the mail, really. But like a really artistic kind of fun stationery or something like that. I just get such a just a thrill out of old fashioned snail mail. So that's a it's a fun way to just kind of perk someone's day, you know, and really like like do something different. So I love that sharing reels and memes. And I know this is social media and I know this is you know, this is already happening a lot for some of us. But sharing reels and memes is just it's a fun way for like when my friends do this, like it's a fun way for us to connect over the thing that's shared. Like, for example, I mentioned perimenopause earlier, like one of my girlfriends sends me these hilarious memes about perimenopause. And it's it just lights up my day. It just it just makes me laugh out loud. And it's so much fun to to just kind of feel a part of a club, I guess, of some kind or something, but to feel to feel seen and to feel included a little bit. And it's just a fun, you know, it's a fun, free, easy way to connect. And certainly, I mean, none of these necessarily are enough on their own. Right. Maybe they are. Depends. Depends on the you know, what the friendship or the relationship. But I feel like these are just tiny things that you can do to contribute to an overall, you know, really nice, connected friendship. So the next one is send a friend. There's a there's a Web site called Send a Friend. And it's a it's the most adorable a little package of a stuffed animal that Becky, I'm not going to explain this well, so help me out here. But it's an adorable it's a it's a it's a stuffed animal of your choice. And they have like, I don't know, like a hundred different animals. And they they wrap them. They wrap them up in pretty tissue and they put them in this amazing box that that says, like, send a friend. And it's and I think they even put like a little personalized note in there and stuff. And it's just it's just a fun it's just a fun way to like drop something on your friend's doorstep and just, you know, brighten their day and let them know you're thinking about them. So send a friend there. What was another one? Oh, Zoom lunch dates. I was laughing about this because Becky and I used to do this a lot when we worked together years ago. And we worked we were remote. We were a remote team. And we used to do these like lunch dates or working meetings, as Becky called them, air quotes, working meeting. We worked. We worked. Don't let her fool you. We did. We did work. It's true. But we also you know, we also had fun. And it was it was a it was just a nice way to connect. And and we were I mean, we don't live in the same state. I think y'all have probably figured that out by now. You've been listening to the podcast, but we live three states away from each other. So and we did then and we have, you know, been blessed to develop a friendship this deep and this impactful, you know, and we don't even we don't we don't even live in the same state. So, you know, so just think about fun, creative ways you can do that. You know, sometimes it's just about being together. And that can happen virtually. Yes. Any thoughts, Becky? Yeah. No, I love those. I you talked about send a friend. Another one that I really love. There is like a soup company. I can't think of the name of it, but they send like soups to people and they come with these really pretty ladles. I've heard of this. And that is is definitely a great way for for building connection. And honestly, I think for me, like asking, like flat out asking, like, is there anything that I could do? Or is there do you have anything on your mind that I could keep in my prayers or my thoughts or my meditations or my manifestation circle or whatever that is for you? Right. Like, yeah. Like, do you like what's what's going on in your life that I can hold close to my heart? And and that, Lacey, I know that you've already said this, but like, just choose joy. Right. We were not meant to do life alone, guys. We weren't. And I'm going to like I can't believe I didn't even think about this, but when I was a little girl, my grandma used to talk about how like we she would hold up our hand and she would say, you know, as people, we all have our strengths. Those are like the tops of our fingers, the peaks of the mountains. And we all have our weaknesses. Those are the valleys. And we need other people to help fill in where we're not strong. Right. Because when we do that, it's a much more level playing field. And honestly, this like this isolation that we feel as a society is like when we look in history, it's a relatively new thing. So just I don't want to say choose to show up for them, but choose to show up for you because you deserve to have those connections. Yeah. Right. And you deserve to feel that love and you deserve to not feel utterly alone. Right. There's a reason flamingos raise their babies and flocks. There is. And if you feel like you don't have any of those connections, you deserve to make them. Right. And I know that making friends as like an adult and even more so as like a mom or as a caregiver, like maybe you have a sick partner or maybe you are new to a community or there could be a million reasons. Right. But like find a reason to connect with somebody. Right. Find a reason because you are worth it, because you have something so beautiful to give. You have something so beautiful to give. And yeah, I just I'm sure, Lacey, I think I'm going to cut you off. So you probably have one or two more things. But I just want to say, Galdina, like the fact that you're even asking this question says a lot about how you already show up. Mm hmm. It says a lot about you and about your heart and how you care. And I would say, honestly, the best advice we could probably give you, and we've said a lot of things on here, right? I would be like, keep showing up the way that you are. Mm hmm. Keep being authentically you because that's who your friend fell in love with. That's who your partner fell in love with. That's who their kids probably call Auntie Galdina. Right. Like and that's who new friends will fall in love with. Right. That's who new friends will gravitate towards. That's who that's who will be drawn to you and brought into your experience. Yeah. I my little girl is a huge Taylor Swift fan. And do you know what I there's a lot of things I love about Taylor Swift. And believe it or not, the top of it is not her music for me. I think that she's an amazing artist, but that's not really it for me. I think that she's a great role model generally. And people this is going to probably cause a lot of controversy. But like, listen, there's a lot of opinions about that. That's fine. Whatever your opinion is, you're allowed to have it. But the culture of her community. Right. It's all around these friendship bracelets and they will trade them with anybody. It doesn't matter. Right. Because you have this commonness. So don't be afraid to trade friendship bracelet. Mm hmm. I love that. Now I got to go out and get a friendship bracelet. We'll send you one. Maybe maybe me and my daughter will make flamingo bracelets. Oh, please. So here we should do something fun with that. So if you're actually listening to the podcast and you heard this, then I encourage you to post on any of our posts on social media. And you can find us on Facebook and on Instagram. And you can just go to literally any post that we've posted and put in hashtag trading friendship bracelets. And we will reach out to you and send you flamingo friendship bracelets made by me and my daughter. It's a challenge. Are you up for it? It's a challenge. I love it. The only way you'll know is if you listened. I. OK, can I play? Can I get a. Yes. Yes. We'll send you one. Am I your friend, Becky North? Yes, ma'am. OK, fabulous. Well, I feel like we're wrapping this up, but I had I had one more little thing. Shared interest. Figure out what the shared interests are and do those things like online games. You know, a lot of people love the online games and the role plays and the things. You know, what about that? What about book clubs? I'm in a book club. I love my book club. There's like 15 women in my book club. I mean, would I say we're like close, close? No. But, you know, you never know where those you never know where those pass my lead, you know, like Bible studies, things like that. Right. Bond over scrapbooking. What about cooking, sharing recipes, things like that? Right. These are all things that we can do at a distance with each other that that, you know, that that enhance friendships, build stronger bonds, all that. Yes, ma'am. Agreed completely with that. Like, yeah. And you talked about online games. Did you know that there's this online game? I just don't feel like I'm talking to talk tonight. Sorry, guys. You are. Go ahead. Let's go. There's this online game called Tabletop Simulator. And you can play things like Scrabble and Monopoly and stuff like that. So even if you are in California and you're in Florida, if those are things that you enjoy doing, it's something you can still do with the people that you want to do them with. I love that. See, Galdina, you're I mean, you got your money's worth out of this episode, OK? I'm just kidding. It was free. Ha ha. Becky and I enjoyed this so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I want to give a shout out to those of you who have continued to listen and be loyal fans of this podcast. And we are so delighted with the community that is growing and continuing to show up and raise their hand for more of this. And I know, Becky, you feel the same. And just welcome, welcome, welcome. If you're new, welcome. If you've been with us, thank you. And we're just thrilled to see how this to see how this continues to develop. And we appreciate you showing up and we see you. And I think that's all. Becky, any closing genius for the day? No, I don't think so. Have a great week, guys. Until next time.