Advice To Live By

In this episode of This Flocked Up Life, we dive into a listener question from Jessica M.: "What are some of the best pieces of advice you've been given, and how has it shaped your life?"

From baby shower blessings to peanut butter and jelly, we share heartfelt stories about the advice that has truly changed our journeys through motherhood, friendship, and personal growth. 

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becky@thisflockeduplife.com

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Transcript

0:06

Whether you're navigating the challenges of parenthood with a crying baby, a teenager, or anything in between, whether you have one child or a dozen, know this, we see you, we are you. We are modern moms and best friends with out-of-the-box kids, and we're here to cheer you on during this wild ride called motherhood. We show ourselves grace, build badass communities, and choose to embrace the chaos with love and humor. Welcome to This Flocked Up Life, because being a mom is messy, imperfect, and pretty flockin' beautiful. Hey there, I hope you're having a beautiful day. I'm Becky North, and I'm here with my favorite Fleming gal, Lacey Burbick. How are you today, Lacey? Hey, Becky, I'm doing great today, feeling a lot better after a challenging week of medical-related things. A rager of a yeast infection for me, wah-wah, and also my son had a little procedure done on his hand by a local dermatologist that put him through the wringer. So, feeling like we're standing upright again, but we've had a bit of a doozy this week. How about you? Well, I'm glad that you are on the upswing, first of all. I also feel like I had a bit of a doozy week. Stomach flu kind of hit hard and heavy, and thankfully, my kids didn't get it, which feels like a miracle. Yes, thank goodness. Applause music. It took me down for a lot more days than I enjoyed, but I am feeling also on the upswing, and one step closer to spring. Yes, it is impossibly snowy and frigid here in Indianapolis, but I saw, I went out to the mailbox yesterday, and I saw the first little green sprouts of my spring crocus that are always the first ones out. So, they're starting, they're above ground, so that means spring is imminent. Okay, well, I like that way better than the ground, so I'm gonna go with that. Well, they are the harbingers of spring in the plant and horticulture population. They are the very first to come out and bloom, and they're purple, and they're yellow, and they're purple and white variegated, and they're amazing. So, as soon as they pop their pretty little heads up, I will be sure to take pictures and share with all of you. Yay, I love that. Okay, well, should we jump right in? Yes, let's do it. Okay, in today's episode, we're answering a question from Jessica M, and she says, what is some of the best advice you've been given, and how has it shaped your life? And I just want to say thanks. This is such a fun question, and so different than what we normally do, and so I'm looking forward to this one. Wow, I, gosh, you've got me, got my head, my brain's just spinning, like, oh, what can we, what can I share? I guess I, I guess maybe I don't take advice very well, or seriously, or something potentially, because I was, I'm a little bamboozled to come up with something nice to share here, but Becky, why don't you lead, and I'll, I'll come up with. Okay, yeah, you know, I, I was giggling while I was writing my, my notes for this, because this one came up, and this is actually about relationships, and with your significant person, and I, I used to be really involved in this church outreach program, and one time we were at this church where a couple was celebrating, like, their 65th wedding anniversary. I mean, like, and this sweet old lady, like, there's, like, a big group of teenagers, right, and she gathered all of the teenage girls around her, and she leaned in, and she was, like, probably four foot seven. I mean, she was just this little sweet old lady with, like, her hair curled to the nine. She was wearing her little, like, sorry, I can see it so vividly, and she's standing there with her hand on her hip, and, like, wagging her finger, and she's, like, now, girls, I have to tell you the secret to a good marriage. Are you listening? Are you ready? And I was, we're all, like, okay, and she's, like, you tell your husband everything, just some things you tell him while he's in the shower, and she just was, like, and she just walked out of the circle, like, that was it. Here was her great big truth bump. You tell your husband everything, just some things you tell him while he's in the shower, and, oh, my God. Okay, that wins. We can stop. That is, like, that is hilarious. Oh, my God. So, so, I mean, essentially, what she's saying is you tell him, you tell him the things you don't want to tell him when he can't hear you, right? So, you just, it's all about, it's all about being truthful, but selectively truthful. Selectively, yeah, and I just thought, oh, goodness. It was just, even then, like, now, I'm, like, literally have tears running down my cheeks right now. I'm, like, she was so sweet, and they had such a happy, lovely marriage. I mean, 65 years is nothing to gawk at, right? And just, you tell your husband everything. Tell him everything, sometimes when he's in the shower. So, there's, there's, like, probably maybe the best piece of advice I've ever gotten. I, I love that so much, and, like, I don't think none of mine, none of mine are gonna be anywhere nearly as fun or, or poignant as that, but I'll share, I'll share one I thought about. This, well, it's sort of, well, it's unrelated, but I had a, I had someone in my baby shower memory book. So, like, my mother-in-law hosted this wonderful baby shower for me when my daughter, when I, when I was expecting my daughter, and everybody wrote, like, a piece of advice in the baby shower memory book, and the one that stood out was, sleep while the baby sleeps. And I was, like, I was, like, how does, okay, I mean, that's logical, right? But I, but until you, until you have that baby, and you are working on a sleep schedule, and you are exhausted beyond the point of no return, and you don't know which way is up, you know, it, that advice didn't set in with me until that point. You know, I, I got, had to get pretty far into the, you know, maybe first three months of life before I was, like, that's good advice, but turns out that's really good, turns out that's really good advice. So long as your baby is sleeping somewhere safe, obviously, it's a good idea to take that time for you, for self-care, not for taking care of the responsibility, washing the dishes, doing, you know, bathing the dog, whatever else needs to happen. Don't go there and take care of you while there's an opportunity for you, for self-care. So anyway, that was a funny piece I remembered. Yes, no, I definitely was told that, and I probably didn't do it until it was far too late, but my oldest man, he didn't start being a sleeper until, like, a couple years ago. Like, he has never, like, I, in his toddlerhood, I was, like, six hours of sleep is a really good night for us. Wow. It was bad. It was, like, I wouldn't wish that on my enemy, right? Like, I was, oh, now he's a teenager, and he doesn't want to get out of bed, but, like. Yeah, it's funny, funny how that works, but, yeah, great, great piece of advice. Well, it's funny, though, I wrote down, I wrote it down, and I put, I didn't do this. It's, like, I'm advising you, Jessica, that it was a great piece of advice for me, but I didn't do it, so. But I should have. I should have, looking back. Yeah, go ahead, babe. Yeah, I have one that was in my baby book, too, so I love that you did that. This one was actually from my dad, and he said it to me a lot, but he did write it in my baby book for my first, firstborn, and that was that the days are long, but the years are short, and my goodness, couldn't that be more true? Like, there are some days, even some weeks, where I'm like, this has been the longest day of my entire life. If we make it through, it's going to be a miracle, but then, like, you look back, and, like, you know, your kid's going off to college, or, you know, they're getting their driver's permit, or they're doing something big for the very first time, or even they're taking their first step, or having their first haircut, or whatever that is, and it's, it all comes rushing so quickly, and this, like, oh, my gosh, where did the time go? Because the years really are short, and they happen really, really fast, even if in the moment, they don't feel like it, and so my dad used to tell me that, and he would always say, just find one good thing about the day. So, find one good thing about the day, because they are long, but the years are short, so find one good thing about the day. So, um, okay, once again, we can just be done here. Becky, that was amazing. So, what the flap are you waiting for? Hit the follow button, and become part of our growing flock, because let's face it, it'll be fun, and you're worth it. Your dad is, was a brilliant soul, and so kind, and loving, and wow, isn't that profound advice? Lifelong, valuable advice. Yep. Wow, okay, go ahead, you got another one? No, it's your turn. My turn, okay, uh, let's see. Okay, don't go to bed mad at your spouse. I also don't do this one. You have to be like, I don't always do that. So, but that is one that my, my dear Aunt Ruby, uh, who is my, who was my mother's, I believe she was like my mother's great aunt, kind of a level relative, uh, though my mom was adopted, so there were some, you know, it was messy in there, okay, but there was this, uh, Aunt Ruby was, um, was around probably the first, yeah, 18, 20 years of my life, and one thing she told me was, don't ever go to bed mad at your spouse, and she bought me this little book that was about, um, marriage devotionals, like things to do with your spouse, you know, to, to make sure your marriage stays strong, and I was like, at the time, of course, I was, you know, 23, and like, I can conquer the world, I don't need this shit, I don't even think I opened the book, but don't tell, don't tell Aunt Ruby, but, um, it, one of the nuggets that she shared was, don't ever go to bed mad at your spouse, and it rings true in my, it rings in my ear every so often, I'm like, oh yeah, I shouldn't go to bed mad at my spouse, but sometimes I still choose to, that's the, you know, unhealed me, right, showing up again, uh, but, but I'm making, I'm, I'm the, I have awareness of it, which is a win, right, that I'm, that it is a choice, and also that, that I can make a new choice every time, right, every time that situation presents itself, or we're, you know, arguing about something or whatnot, and, and, uh, I mean, it really, it, it, it's so true that life is short, right, and we're not, tomorrow's not promised to us, and what good does it do to go to bed mad at your spouse? Yeah, I will say, I noticed, because I'm not perfect at this either, my husband would attest to that, I know he listened, so don't actually attest to that in public, but, uh, no, actually, always tell the truth, but, um, but I sleep worse, like, like, everything about my rest, if I go to bed upset with my husband is just not good, right, it's just, yep, and then it's, you know, it's a big domino effect, right, because then the next day I'm crabby, and, you know, crap rolls downhill, so, uh-huh, yeah, that's a great point, is it, I mean, it is, it's sort of, like, subtly energetic, right, that, like, even when you, even when you're choosing to just be silent and go to sleep, you're, you're, your spirit is not at rest, you know, like, you are not centered and calm and balanced, so, yeah, yeah, that's a good one, thanks, yeah, thanks, thanks, yeah, Ruby, um, okay, well, my next one's a little quirky, I have a couple quirky ones on here, so I hope you guys are okay with that, but I actually recently was just talking with my dear friend, Tegan, and, um, and we were talking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, because I was, like, I've been on this peanut butter and jelly kick, and it's weird, because I've never eaten this many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in a row, and anyways, that's not the advice, but the advice was, she told me, we were talking about how to make the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and, um, because I like a lot more peanut butter than jelly, like, and I'm with you, everybody makes their sandwiches different, my kids would eat all jelly and no peanut butter, well, of course, two out of three would, right, but she goes, oh, yeah, no, I make mine bread, peanut butter, jelly, peanut butter bread, so she puts, like, the peanut butter on both sides of the bread, and she goes, I do this so my sandwich doesn't get soggy, brilliant, right, so I made one, and it was, like, the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich I've ever had in my life, right, because I like so much peanut butter on my peanut butter and jelly, and I felt like, oh, this makes so much more sense, and you didn't get, like, because something I don't like about jelly is it's so, so sweet, and we get, like, a low sugar and all that, but, like, still, it can be really, really sweet, depending on what kind of fruit you're using, and so it, like, even though I, you know, used the normal amount of jelly I would use on a sandwich, it didn't feel as, like, blatantly punch-you-in-the-face sweet, because what I was getting first on my taste buds was peanut butter. It was so smart. Love her. Way to go, Tegan. Way to go, Tegan. Great share. Tegan's a part of our community. We love Tegan. Shout out. Shout out. Wow. I, I wish I, now I'm feeling really bad about my, about my advice that I wrote down, because yours is so funny. No, it's fine. You wrote down exactly what you were supposed to, so I'm going to have a blessing with it. I'm going to have a little tantrum over here with my pinkity drinkity. With your pinkity drinkity. I love that. Okay, which one to share? Okay, so taking this a whole nother direction. My mom, hey, shout out, mom, thanks for this. She taught me to say a prayer of protection over my vehicle every time I get in it, every time I get in it. So I had a really, I'll give you a long story short, but I had a really, really traumatic car accident situation when I was 16. Flew out the window, nearly died, yada, yada, and ever, and in, in, during that accident, I had a guardian angel pendant kind of thing that was hanging from my rear view mirror. And when, and after the accident, no one could find the, my, my mom went hunting. It was a beautiful like pewter piece and it had, you know, all the Swarovski crystals, crystals and stuff. It was a really beautiful piece that, that my mom had spent quite a bit money on. I think we actually got it at King's Island, funny enough that I remember that, but it was from one of those beautiful little trinket shops at King's Island. Anyway, we put it in my car when, you know, when I was, I was a first time driver and this was my new car and it, it graced the rear view mirror of my windshield, of my, sorry, not windshield, the rear view mirror in my, it was a Volkswagen Beetle. It was a 1969 and it had a pink flame job, just so you can picture it. It was really cool, super sexy at the time. Anyway, so after that accident, my mom went back to the like scene to see if, to see if she could find the angel because it was not in the wreckage after the fact. And we never found the angel like, and, and that's, you know, it could be that it was just under a rock somewhere, you know, somewhere else at the scene that my mom didn't happen to cover, but we happen to believe that that was my, you know, that, that there was some guardian angel action happening there because I really shouldn't have survived that accident. And, and so I, I believe to this day that there is real power in, in, well, you know, I, guys, I'm all into the metaphysical and the woo woo stuff, but I'm all, I'm a hundred percent aligned with the idea that there is a guardian angel that is with me and she is working overtime and I'm so grateful for her. And so part of this prayer protection over the vehicle is like, you know, it's like calling in the guardian angels for protect, for protection over the vehicle. And, you know, you know you can make it as long or as short as you want, right. But calling in that protection and then, you know, wrapping it up with, you know, I'm so grateful for your protection. So it is right. And for me, like, I guess it's a way for me of like feeling safe, not feeling scared, getting behind the wheel because I have had some, some scary car things happen over my lifetime. So I think it's a way that, that I sort of affirm that I'm safe for myself, but also I think it's, I think it's really lovely for other people to experience the sentiment of, I want you to be safe while you're with me, while you're in my vehicle. And I care about, you know, about your safe arrival. And I care about, you know, your wellbeing here with me in this space. And, you know, I don't know about y'all, but here in Indiana, but driving skill has, has gone incredibly massively down the toilet in the last, I would say what, 10, 10 years or so, maybe, maybe less. But it's, it's a, it's a real wild west around here. And I, I don't know. I just always feel safer with, with a prayer protection. So that is, that is some really good advice that I honestly, I, it's become such a habit. It's so deeply ingrained in me now that I say it every time I get back in the car, even like if I'm going shopping or, you know, and I get out of the car and I get back in the car and then I go to the next place and get back out of the car. And then you're like, I say it every time, like every time I start the vehicle. And, um, I guess, so this is the one thing, this is the one piece of advice I am good at applying, but, um, but yeah, so just, you know, just something to think about, but, you know, don't forget that there is divine support if you would love it. Right. That's yes. It's just something it's, I think it's really comforting to think about. Yes. That, that there might be someone that we could call in for support if we're so inclined. Yeah. I love that. I love that. And I love that you're here to talk about it today. Yes. Me too. Um, I think probably one of the most profound things that I have on my list, I feel like my list looks so funny. You got like, it's, it's just as a little, it's a little funny, but, um, is how you do one thing. This one is twofold, right? So how you do one thing is how you do everything. And, um, I think I had a lot of problems with this saying when I first heard it, right. Because I was like, but what if I'm not good at everything? Right. Like, and, um, and so that's where the second part kind of comes into it is it's not about being, it's not about being excellent at everything. It's about showing up in excellence. Right. And so it's about, are you proud of it? Right. So if, if you did your very best and your very best was still, let's say on like a grading scale, still like a C or a D, but it was truly your very best. Then you still showed up in excellence. Right. Like, and now, you know, like what you can learn and take back and do. And so when I switched that, that shift of thought and into the, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Like, I want to be proud of everything I do. Hmm. I want my kids to be proud of everything they do. Right. And so we, um, and I haven't asked this question as much recently, and this is a great reminder that I probably should, but even like when they're cleaning their rooms, I would be like, is it clean to the checklist? And are you proud of it? Right. So when I go up and look at it, are you proud of it? Honestly, are you proud of it? And, um, and then if it was something that, you know, cause kids are kids and sometimes they'll be like, yes, when really maybe the answer isn't yes. Right. But like, you know, I, I still do that now. Like I was working on something personal for Girl Scouts with a spreadsheet and I had that same question, like, am I proud of it? Yes. I'm proud of it. Like, this is going to work great. I'm creating a system that's going to do good. Right. Like, and so just in everything that you do, how you do one thing is how you do everything. And it's just about showing up in a way that you're proud of showing up in excellence and excellence doesn't mean perfection. Right. It just means doing the very best that you can and giving yourself permission to learn and grow. Yes. Slam dunk again, just be done. But I think this is so fun. This is fun. Yeah, I am having fun with this one. Okay. I have one more and then I'll let Becky take the rest away. Cause I'm sure she has a lot more interesting things than I do to share with you today, but don't take yourself too seriously. I also suck at this. So yeah, um, I, I, yeah, I, this is great advice because I have today me has experienced life being so much more fun and, and, and that when you are in the energy and the spirit of fun, more good things come when you take yourself too seriously, you shut the doors, you shut the doors to the, the high vibrational goodness that's out there for you when you, when you, you know, and, and life is life's hard enough. Why would you take yourself too seriously and not have any fun? Right? Like I thought that it was some sort of the grittier, the grinder I am, the harder I work, the more seriously I take myself, the more successful I'll be. Yeah, that's wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I've heard you talk about this a lot, really in the last year and a half about choosing fun. I thought that that was going to be on your list for sure. About like choose joy, right? Choose happiness. Choose fun. Like do that. Do more of the things that light your soul on fire. Yes. And it's a choice what you align yourself to. I align myself with fun and I, and my life is better and more fun when I align myself with I'm serious and everything has got to be a certain way and it's got to be perfectionist. And do you like how my, you like how my face changes when I'm funny, but watch the YouTube video because I am putting on a show over here, but it's true. Like that's, I mean, pay attention to that, right? Because that is reflective of my energy. When I'm having fun, I'm open. My shoulders are back. I'm smiling. I'm laughing. I'm moving around. And when I talk about taking life too seriously, my shoulders come up, my hands get tight, my voice deepens, my eyebrows furrow. You know what I mean? Seriously. Yeah. There's a visceral reaction. Yeah. I mean, there's real physical signals of, of the energy. And so, yeah, I mean, you are going to mess stuff up. You are going to say the wrong thing. You are going to show up to a business meeting with your fly unzipped. All the things are going to happen. You know, crazy shit is going to happen. And if you take yourself too seriously, you're just going to make it worse. Yeah. Laugh it off. Try to, you know, try to, try to, yeah. Be willing to laugh at yourself. Be willing to kind of just take a punch and roll through it. I mean, you've got to, yeah. I think it's, it also, gosh, it applies to parenting. So, so hard too, right? When we take ourselves too seriously as parents, we, we, we exert too much control. We hover. We don't, we, we miss those, that the thing Becky's dad just was talking about, about the, the hours are long when the years are short. What is it? Days. The days are long. Yeah. Thank you. Days are long, but years are short. Like if you're, you're going to miss the days. You're going to miss the beauty in the day. If all you can do is think seriously about one day to the next or the week or the month or the whatever, if all you can do is this plan, plan, plan, execute, execute, execute, make sure, you know, do all the things the right way. You're missing it. Yes. Yes. I have, I have life's too short to not sing was one of the pieces of advice I got when my aunt used to tell me that when I was little. And I I've said before several times, I think on the podcast, like my life's like a real life Disney musical. I bust out in song very often, right? Like it may not be singing for you, right. It may be dancing or it may be whatever that is, but like, it goes right along with that and like find joy, right? Like one of my very favorite things to do with my kids is like literally just, Oh, we're going from home to dance and to turn up the music and just sing at the top of our lungs just because we can. Right. Because I'm not going to get that exact moment back with them and it brings them joy too. So yes, yes. I love that you said that Lacey. Thanks. Okay. Shout. You're going to have to, I have a whole list. So we're going to come on rapid fire. Let's go rapid fire. So the first one is, and I actually just recently heard that, but it's a question. And I think Lacey, you have talked kind of about similar, about like not controlling things in the universe, right? Like, like not making yourself the center of the universe, I think is what you told me one time. But the question that I heard it posed as, as, but is that your problem? Yes. And I was like, Oh, that's good. And that doesn't mean that we should be supportive of people and we can't like do that. But like, we don't have to take ownership of other people's problems because they're not, they're not our problems. Right. So true. And honestly we can support better if we don't take ownership. Yes. Right. So yes. And most of the time the people we're hearing these problems from don't actually want us to take it on. Right. They don't most times they don't. Yes. We misunderstand the dynamic. We step in and take before it's even known if we're wanted or needed in, in that taking or relieving of something. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Another one that I have, and this is one that I actually tell to my kids, but I have a funny story that goes with it and that's that I can do hard things. And I think that we've kind of seen this all over the place, but I used to remind my kids of this, like all the time, we've changed it a little now too. I get to do hard things. Not just can, but I get to, right. But I have some, my middle son is very opinionated. Right. And he, he's so much fun, but they're all fun. They're all fun in their own right. But when he was gosh, two and a half, three we were getting ready to go somewhere. And he was wearing these shorts that had like, they were kind of like beach shorts. They were like cargo, but they had like a big button, like a big, almost Walnut like button on them. And I'm trying to like get him to hurry in the bathroom. And I'm like, why don't you just let me button your shorts bud? Cause in my mind, I'm like, we have to get out the door. Right. Like, but he stops, steps back, looks at me, stomps his foot on the ground, hands go on his hips. And he goes, I can do hard things. Remember mom. And I was like, like, I mean, it was funny. It still is funny. Right. But like in that, and the advice I'm going to take away from that, it's not just that we get to, or we can do hard things because we can, and you can, you do hard things every day. Right. But it's that when we empower people, we need to give them the space to stand in their power. Mm. So I taught him independence and I taught him that he could button that really hard button. And then I tried to take it from him. Oh girl. Right. And now in the moment, I probably, I didn't see that. Right. It was that we needed to get out the door and that he was two and a half and that it's okay that he needs help with his button, which is the other thing. Like, it's okay to ask for help. It doesn't make you weak. Right. Help makes you stronger. Say that again. Help makes you stronger. Yes. Help makes you stronger. Yes. But, but like I did all that. And then I tried to take that power away from him. And so just, I think maybe this is a little bit more to the advice giver, right. And to us as parents. But like we're, we're raising the next generation of human beings. Right. And that gives me a lot hope because I see a lot of really great and amazing things. And I see some things that bring me a little less hope, but not a lot less, if I'm honest. And, but like, they're going to have to do it one day without us. Like we should give them the safe place to let them do it now. Right. And so, yeah. Okay. The next one, and this one is also really tied in with mommings, but like follow your gut. Right. I cannot tell you how many stories I have read or heard or talked to or something where people were like, I knew that something was wrong. I knew that something was wrong for me in particular. One case that comes to mind is one of my sons has some muscle issues with his eyes. He got that from me, which is hard as a mama, right? Like when things are not necessarily perfect and you know, genetically that came from me. Right. Like that's hard, but he has, I started turning in, well, I have that same issue. I was put in by Fuggles when I was in the first grade. He was not quite two yet. And I started to notice it and nobody else could see it. Like my husband couldn't see it. My mother-in-law couldn't see it. My dad couldn't see it. Like nobody else saw. And I was like, it's not right. Like his eye is turning and I followed my gut. And I went to the eye doctor, which was where we lived at the time. It was so hard to find a doctor who would see your kids that little, like an eye doctor, because people don't take eye health as seriously. Well, and they're not, there aren't like pediatric eye specialists or not that I know of. Well, yeah. Not like normal optometrists. Right. Like that's not typically thing, but I saw some place that would take us and they put him in glasses. And six months later we ended up going for surgery. And in that six months, cause his vision, his, his eye got worse. And like, by the time he had, he's had three surgeries now, but by the time he had his first one of his eyes, like you could only see like half of the colored part. Oh wow. Like it was turned so far. And that started with me being like, Hey, I see something when nobody else sees it. Right. And so follow your gut. Right. Like you were a neatly made their parent. Like whether that was you actually birthed them or whether you adopted them or whether you're fostering them or for whatever reason, like the universe, God, Bob, the builder shovel, all the ding dong. I don't care what that is for you. Right. But like they, they were put into your care for a reason. And like, there is nothing in the world like a mother's intuition. So follow your gut. I love that one so much. Yes. I, I don't, I don't even know what else to say, Beck. You said it all, but I mean, I can think of countless experiences with my kids over the years where I knew something that no one else knew that, that I was like, I went to the doctor and I said, this is happening. And they're like, uh, let's not, you know, let's not jump to conclusions. Like let's do a test or let's do the, you know, this or that or whatever. And then it came back that that was exactly the case. So I, my intuition, I trust 100% all the time, every day without fail. I mean, intuition is, it's not a, it's not a woo woo. Like it's not a, it's not just an idea. It's it's real. I mean, I don't, I guess I go as far as saying it's science. Yes. And it's a blessing. It's a blessing for sure. Yeah. I have just a couple more. I know I'm going so long. You are not going so long. I just, I, I felt bad that I didn't have no better advice. Go ahead. Obviously people think they need to tell me a lot. Maybe I'm a bad listener and you're a good listener. Or maybe you have your shit together and I don't girl. Okay. Um, this one's a little deep, but, um, and you hear me talk a lot about showing up in love, but to just show up and love, like it's your last day every day. Right. So, um, if you were in a position to know today was your last day on earth, you would probably live it differently than you do every single day. So why wouldn't we just choose to carry that joy, carry that love, carry that fun, carry that, you know, I'm going to build memories because you probably, at least I, I can't speak for you or you Lacey or anybody listening, you know, you Jessica, but like, I wouldn't, if I knew tomorrow was my last day on earth, I wouldn't want to make that a sad day for my kids. I would want to find joy. I would want those memories to be amazing. And so like, just love, like it's your last day. Yes, yes, yes. Because we never know. I mean, we, I mean, legit, we never know when our last day is right. And that's it. And that's a gift and a mystery that, that, um, you know, that, that just is, but why not, why not be conscious of every single day's value? I mean, what do you got to lose? Yeah, absolutely. Another one that really resonates with me. And this, um, I was told when my third was born and, uh, one of my really dear friends, I was like, my house is a mess. My, this is that my laundry is not done. And she goes, Becky laundry is never done. And that is like such a silly thing. Right. But just this reminder of like, all of those things are going to be there. Right. Dirty dishes, annoy the crap out of me, but do you know what it means that my kids are fed? Right. And laundry means that they have worn clothes, hopefully, and didn't just throw them on the floor. Right. Like, like the laundry's never done those things. I know we talked about like sleep when the baby's sleeping. Right. Like, and I'm not saying like, put those things off because it's important to do the laundry and to do the dishes and to like, just live a healthy life in your home. Right. But like the, the expectation of a pristine white home with no dust and no clothes, and it's not lived in and any of that, I don't want that. I want my house to be messy to a sense, because that means my kids are making memories. Right. I want it to be lived in. I want it to feel comfortable and there is always going to be laundry because the laundry is never done. Yeah. So good. Okay. Two more and then I'm done. This one is actually read the instructions. I'm also not good at this. I am 50% good at this, I think, but like, like, listen, sometimes we just make it harder because we don't read the instructions. So like, just read the instructions or a lot of things now have like a QR code you just scan and it'll, it'll talk to you like it'll be a video or an audio or something like that. Like, save yourself the time and the hassle and the stress and 17 extra pieces and just read the instructions because. Okay. For all you fathers out there that might be listening to this podcast. Okay. Yeah. That's advice for you too. Yes. Yes. And then my last one that I have on here and, you know, I said the, how you do one thing was probably the most profound, but I actually lied because this one came to me when you were talking, Lacey, but I know that there are people all over the world who have different beliefs and belief systems. But I think that one thing that we can say that is a pretty common belief innately is like that we are the authors of our life. And I'm going to get a little bit deeper on that. Like, so let's just say that you, you are Christian and you have that Christian belief. And one of the things that it talks about in the Bible is that God gave us free will. God gave us the choice to choose. And, and again, like this applies in a bunch of different ways, but if I were to try to explain all of them right now, we would be here forever. Right. So I'm just going to use this one thing and please apply it as it sees fit to you. But God gave her universe or source or whatever that is for you. Right. Like gave free will, gave you the option to choose. And when we let somebody take our power because we're scared of what's going on or because we think maybe we don't know best or because what, like whatever the reason, right. Like, and I don't mean physical power. I just mean when we give somebody else the pen to write our story, they're not going to be able to do it. Because if for, for no other reason, it is your God given ability to write your own story. Nobody on this planet gets to define you, but you, nobody gets to claim your worth, but you, nobody gets to say you can or you can't do something, but you. And when you hear all the rest of that noise, remember that they're not the one holding the pen because it is your God given right to write your story and stand in your power and make your impact. I love that. Yes. So Becky, so good. That may be the best advice I've ever received. Well, cause I'm just hearing that for the first time and I love that. Well, thank you, Jessica, for such a fun question. This was fun. I something a little different for sure. Until next time, everybody take care.